For Sophia Rose

This poem appears in the current issue of The Recusant. I wrote this around the first or second week of June when I was still pregnant and feeling Happy Happy Joy Joy. Sophia would have been our third child, our second little girl. Unfortunately, I suffered a miscarriage on 25 Jun 09. Does that date ring a bell? It may or may not. That is the same day that Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson died. As the world mourned their loss, I lay in a hospital room, mourning the loss of my baby girl. She was beautiful and I feel blessed to have "known her" for the short 17 weeks I carried her inside me. I often ask God, Why? But he has his reasons. Chaplain Teresa talked to us for a long time. I remember what she said. "God is Love." It is painful but I know that Sophia is at peace and definitely loved.

Waiting Room at the OB-GYN Clinic

As the engorged clock ticked away,
I patiently sat in the waiting room
with my husband. The pungent smell
of familiarity greeted me. I sensed
the odor emanating from the used toys,
baby magazines, and plastic plants
that surrounded the room. Young girls
held hands, giggled with their beaus,
some were alone and stared straight ahead
at the walls like prisoners awaiting
sentencing. Twenty-something women
seemed more relaxed. Reading with their
legs crossed, swollen bellies peeking out
beneath stretched cotton baby doll tops.
And then there was me, a mother of two,
of advanced maternal age expecting
for the third time. Sitting quietly.
Waiting for the storm. Rearranging
the rooms in my heart to accommodate
one more permanent guest.

March Issue of Flutter is Out!

It's been a while since I posted an entry here. Time is something that has become a rare treasure for me whenever I manage to find it. I can only blame myself really, in the past year I've taken on so many additional things: the 2 choc lab puppies who aren't quite perfectly potty trained yet and earning extra pocket money working as a virtual assistant doing jobs that no one else seems to want to do--paperwork. I can't complain about it though. I was paid $50 just for changing the font on a 53-slide powerpoint presentation and checking for spelling errors. I was also getting paid $60 a month for adding websites to 100s of directories by simply typing in captcha. Sounds like easy work right? For the most part it was but it got to be quite monotonous and took me nearly 2 hours each day to get the numbers that the provider wanted. Finally, after doing it for a few months, I had to tell him I couldn't do it anymore. That was too much time away from my family, spent staring at the computer screen waiting for the next page to load. I miss that extra $60 but I'll survive to fight another VA battle. If you're interested in working part-time as a virtual assistant, check out Elance.com. And no, I'm not getting paid to advertise for them or to acquire new members...lol.

I decided that I spent far too much time away from writing poetry and feel that my writing skills are lacking again. The inspiration isn't there, my muse has disappeared. I stumbled upon this blog journal called "a handful of stones." It's really lovely: I like the layout of the blog and the tiny snippets of poems in the journal are very thought provoking and full of imagery. I decided to submit a few tiny poems and to my surprise, the very same day, 2 poems were accepted for March and April. Yay! I've also submitted to a couple of other journals but can't remember their names at the moment (sad I know). But I did review the journals before submitting. These were mainly journals that accept previously published work since my collection of "new" poems is close to empty.

The March issue of Flutter is out, as of early this morning. I was awakened at 3:40 am in the morning by the puppies needing to pee which was not like them. No, they usually wake us up around 5:00 am. So, being up at 6:00 am, I decided to work on the journal and churn it out. I have this desire to type my times as 0500 hrs and 0600 hrs (it's the military training in me). I wonder how long it will take to break that habit, if ever. Back to the journal; it looks wonderful and the poems are fab. When you get the chance, stop by and take a look. You won't be disappointed.

Third Place at IBPC, Aug 08

I am proud to announce that I have placed third at the Aug 08 IBPC for my poem "Surviving the Ugly". I knew after I wrote it the first time, that it had great potential. Just a feeling really but I'm glad I went with my gut on this one. Yay me!!


http://ibpc.webdelsol.com/winningpoems.html

Sweet Chocolate Lab Puppies

I've attached some photos of the new chocolate lab puppies we got last month. Sisters Kona and Maya are growing like weeds everyday, still not quite potty trained, but they're trying!! Look at their eyes, how could you possibly resist?

I missed Angelina!

As most of my poet friends know, I just returned from a 6-month deployment to Baghdad, Iraq in the US Embassy. I would say that about a week or two later, I read on the news that Angelina Jolie was in Baghdad, in the IZ (international zone). Sure enough, I saw a photo of her in People online sitting next to a Marine who I recognized from working in the embassy. I also watched a short video clip of her standing in line at the DFAC (dining facility) and lo and behold in the background was my former supervisor videotaping her. I only wish I could have been there to see her in person (I am such a huge fan) and possibly get a pic taken with her. Above, are 2 pics that my former supervisor emailed me of her visit to the IZ. She still looks as beautiful as ever.

Winter Journal

Winter Journal

Under a bent lamp, blank pages
flutter like white moths drawn
to a porch light. Here, in this
journal, words never change seasons.

It is always Winter. The crisp,
frostbitten sigh that haunts each line,
an occasional pine needle
wrapped around a 1-minute paragraph,

or the smoky-pink smudge of an eraser
tip dirty from indecision. The
key misplaced long ago in the cracks
between Autumn and Spring.

~ Jan 08 ~